This is not a love song

Achei esse texto na minha bagunça, foi escrito no começo do ano passado.

"bring me the sunshine, your sunshine" - She tought. She was sat down in front of the window, hinding herself from the rain and from the world. With a cup of tea between her hands. She was feeling more than sad, it was something deeper, something bigger, kind of a big hole.
Her eyes used to be big and shiny, but now they are just brown, with no charm. She was empty, you could see it miles away. Her long legs were covered with a pair of red pants and her breasts were hidden under her long and messy hair.
She needs a intervention, she needs compassion but she wasn't necessary for anyone and the worst part of it was the fact that she knew it. And she couldn't change it, it was her destiny: being alone.
"Nothing matters!" - She said loud, look through the blurred glass. But suddenly she realize what to do, for the first time in her life, she knew what to do at the least for a moment. She opened the window and went out in the rain. The rain was falling down on her, the sky was falling on her. And now she felt clean, deeply clean.
The night was coming and bringing the silence. She realize that the rain had already stopped and she was almost dry. But she was feeling wet, like she was melting...becoming nothing. Her dreams disappeared, she disappeared under her messy hair. She was no more the same, she doesn't feel the same feelings. Perhaps someone took it away from her or she just died inside.
She tried her best to be someone , to feel something, to have dreams but she was always empty. All the sweet things of the youth she never tasted.
Life is passing through her eyes, so after 3 days locked inside her house she decided to came out to the street. It was friday night and she was on the street, paying attention in every move, every breath, every laugh and every sound. The city was shining and inviting her to play russian roullete. And now she saw the missing light! Life is a russian roullete, you must give a try. It's dangerous, it can destroy you but at the same time it's exciting.
It's interesting to know that you're mortal, that you can fall apart. Now she's in a parallel universe.